new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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