mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have fence marks all over my body
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