Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
