we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize