Ambien. No doubt about it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
