He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
