I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
