I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
PANTIES FOUND
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