I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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