She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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