Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
