no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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