I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
