You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
