This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
