i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
