I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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