dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize