that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this beer tastes like vomit already
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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