i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
