yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize