i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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