But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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