Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
