I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
