Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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