Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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