just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
