before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
