oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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