Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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