Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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