he shaved USA in his pubs
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
