You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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