i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
