I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
