Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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