I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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