Fine. I'll sleep in my office
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize