she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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