WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
