love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
