it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
