Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
