I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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