Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
