Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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