I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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