I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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