I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
