I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
