haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
