Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
