Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
