she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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