The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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