I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
