worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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