who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
