he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
