You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
